


yours truly

by tgxiic (Gh0stPr1nc3), umspencer



Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: FTM Jack, Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans FtM, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:37:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gh0stPr1nc3/pseuds/tgxiic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/umspencer/pseuds/umspencer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Telling people closest to you your secret isn't always the best decision. But telling them is also something you need to do sometimes.</p><p>~~~</p><p>"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone.”  
________________________

Jack's POV

I couldn't believe it when my parents said I could cut and dye my hair the other day. Especially with how short it was. But, they finally went through with the idea after three years of begging and now I grinned at my reflection in the mirror.

The hair on the sides of my head was buzzed down shorter than the rest, almost silver looking and the top was a bright, neon green, slightly longer than the rest but enough to stay out of my eyes like it did earlier.

"Annd, we're done! How does it look, sweetheart?" The hair stylist asks in her perky tone. 

"It looks great- thank you so much," You smile at her again and try to stop but it's futile. You've been waiting for this moment for so long.

'No more hair that's three fucking feet long.'

She takes the black cape off from around me, dusts off any stray hairs, and grabs a broom to sweep up all the mess.

Time to pay at the register and then find my mom and brothers.  
__________________________

Mom looks close to fainting when she first sees me. She knew this is how my hair was going to look, but it was shocking if you compared it to how she had seen me last before she left me to get my hair done.

"Do you like it...?" I asked hopefully. 

She's better. It cost 138.76 euro and that's half of your allowance from the entire year.

"It's... I loved your beautiful, long brown hair better, hun... I don't know what's up with you teens nowadays and ruining such perfect hair..." She complains as she pushes a stray hair out of my face.

Gee, thanks.

"Well, I think it looks great mum. Jackaboy here pulls off short hair better than I do!" My oldest brother, Adam, buts in, and for once, I'm glad he did. He always knows how to brighten up the mood, even if he can be a jerk sometimes.

He's the only one in the family that knows I'm trans and fully supports me. In fact, he sneaks his old clothes that he doesn't wear anymore into my room for me to wear. He also helped me save up to buy a binder a few months ago which I wouldn't stop thanking him about for weeks. Talk about best big brother ever.

"Adam! She is not a boy, stop giving her that nickname and use her real name for once. In case you forgot, it's Samantha," She scowls at him. 

"Yeah, but for short, I say Jack and I like the nickname Jackaboy so I'm usin' that name whether ye like it or not. Sheesh, someone has a stick up their butt," He retorts.

Mom seems to shut up at that and just grab your little brother, Darren, by the arm and continue throughout the mall, leaving me and Adam behind.

"Hey, don't listen to mum. Ye ain't a girl, alright? You know how they are about that shit..." He reassures, giving my shoulder a squeeze and smiling.

"So! Now that their outta the way- wanna go to Spencer's? We can go in the back," He says in a perverted tone and then laughs. Probably from the face I just pulled at his stupidity. "I'm just kidding. You're fifteen but even I don't want to go in there and I'm seventeen," He visibly shudders. 

"Yeah, there's some real creeps in there..."

"Not what I really meant but sure, Jackaboy."

As the both of us continue to walk throughout the mall, stopping at random stores to look around and taking mental notes on what to save up for later on, Adam brings up something I hoped he'd avoid for at least today.

"Have you told Mark yet?"

An annoyed sideways glance answers his question.

"You know ya have to, Jack. It's really important and if he's as great as a guy you say he is than I doubt he'd be upset about the whole ordeal-"

"You don't get it, Adam. I want ta, I really do but it's kinda hard when you and him are all I've got left to call good family. I don't want to run him off like I'm just bad blood..."

"I know, little man but seriously. You need to. I'm not trying to force you to come out, that's a shit move but I don't want something to happen and then you don't get the chance to tell him. You can do it whenever, but the sooner, the better."

It's completely silent after that as we both meet up with mom and Darren then pack all the bags into the car and begin to drive back home.

Maybe Adam is right; maybe I should tell him, hope for the best, and get over with it.

I just don't want Mark to hate me.  
__________________________

It's midnight now. I had decided to watch a few of Mark's videos on his YouTube channel before I actually went through with talking to him; give myself a confidence boost. 

He always told me I should make a channel of my own one day to which I always responded with "maybe" but continued to just watch instead. Maybe as in I wanted to start my own channel but I didn't think I was worthy enough of even being watched. That and I didn't have much time, ideas, equipment, etc. I uploaded one video a few weeks ago but haven't touched my channel since then.

Ding!

I look over at my phone to see another twitter notification.

'Markiplier: Top o' the mornin' to ya! Oh hoho! *irish noises*'

You laugh slightly at that and quickly type a response back. 

'Jack_Septic_Eye: Stop it Marky! >:('

I know I haven't been watched by many people yet considering I've only uploaded one video but a few of his fans seemed to have checked it out since they've seen us talking lately on twitter and tumblr. Apparently, from what I've read in comments and replies, they ship me and Mark.

'Markiplier: Sorry baby. :p'

Well, no wonder they do.

Rolling my eyes, I decide to finally get on Skype and call Mark, running a hand through my hair to push it out of my face and smiling brightly when Mark shows up on the screen.

"Hey! How's my favorite Irish girl doin'?" 

I cringe when he says 'girl' and fight the urge to automatically correct him and say 'boy'. 

"I'm fine," lies. "How are you, Markimoo?"

"Good, good. "

The conversation carries on with small talk like that for a while.

"So, it's like, what, 4 in the morning for you. Why're you up so late?"

"Just something on my mind lately; somethin' I've been meanin' to talk to ya about for a while now..."

He seems to take the tone of my voice seriously and leans back in his chair, arms crossing behind his head, and feet propped up on his desk, ankles crossed.

"Alright, shoot."

"Okay um... It's hard enough t' say as it is but um... Mark- ye would never hate me right? You wouldn't... Just hate me and never talk to me again... Right?" I feel stupid and childish that I have to ask but I have to. I'll still tell him but I just want to have a forewarning of what his reaction will be.

"What kinda question is that? I would never leave you, why would I have a reason to?"

"I... Mark I..." The words seem much harder to get out than I thought they would be. I want to just say it but it feels as if the words are stuck in my throat and won't come out. I feel so weak not being able to tell him and now I'm tearing up because I'm afraid I'll lose him.

 

"Mark- I'm a boy."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've had a few chapters already typed up for a while so I mightjustpost them all tonight if I can lmao

“Although 'jumping to conclusions' is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy.”  
__________________________

Jack's POV

I feel my chest tighten at the sheer look in his eyes when he hears me on the other end of the line. It looks like fear. Or anger? 'Of what? Of me? He couldn't possibly be scared of me... Shit- is he-'

"Fuck, a-are you transphobic?" I automatically jump to the worst possibly accusation. 

He frowns at me and opens his mouth like he's about to say something but he exits out of the call before he can make a sound.

I shut my laptop a little too harshly, tossing it to the end of my bed and shoving my face into my hands, tears starting to form in my eyes

'I've screwed up everything with him...'   
__________________________

~The next morning~

I woke up to Darren planting a harsh smack to the side of my face, no doubt already leaving a huge red hand print in it's wake.

"God dammit, Darren! Leave me alone, you arse!"

"Ooh, you cursed! I'm telling mum!" He says with a sly smirk, rushing down the stairs to be the tattle tail that he is and probably mix up the story. By that, I mean completely leave out the part where he hit me and it hurt like a bitch and, instead, over exaggerate the story to get me in further trouble.

It's not moments later before I hear my mother yell from downstairs that she needs to talk to me. That little shit.

"Give me a minute, I'm getting dressed!" 

Within five minutes, I'm dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, my favorite green t-shirt, and manage to wipe away any traces of me crying last night. Shut up, guys cry too. Probably not like I did but I'm not taking anyone's shit about it right now either. 

After stumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen, I immediately feel someone grab my arm and pull me to the side.

"Wh-?"

"Don't go in there," Adam whispers. "Mum's pissed enough; Darren fuckin' told her some shit and got way outta line this time." 

The scarce tone he uses as he tells me that slightly unnerves me in a way I really didn't want to be there.

"What'd ya mean? What did he say to her? Oh God- did he tell her I'm-"

"Yeah... I'm not sure if she'll listen to you or not if you try ta excuse yourself and say he's just making shit up this time," He says in one breath, running a hand through his hair with an aggravated huff.

"Adam, what do I do? What do I say? Do you think they'll kick me out? ... Do you think they'll hurt me?"

Jesus, this wasn't good at all. The little ass probably just ruined my relationship with my parents if they decide to believe him.

"No. They won't touch you, Jack. Don't worry li'l bro, we'll be out of here if they even try ta touch you or somethin', alright?" He squeezes my shoulder and flinches when he hears mom and dad shrieking at each other about the situation.

"Hey, wanna get outta 'ere for a bit? At least until mom an' dad calm down. Sound good, yeah?" 

"Yeah..." I agree, not even thinking twice about it. "Yeah, that sounds really good."

I'd rather not be here while they contemplated the situation and I most certainly did not want to be in the middle of it. I'm not ready to face them with this just yet.

"Great, now- go get fixed up and grab your phone and whatever; we're gonna go out and calm down for a while, we can talk about all this shite later."

"Alright, just give me five minutes and I'll be down."

Hurriedly, I sneak back up the stares into my room, lock the door, yank my shirt and bra off, grab my sports bra and binder and quickly changing into it before tugging n shirt and baggy, black hoodie with a septic eye in the middle of it. Best damn hoodie ever. 

Lastly, I grab my phone, wallet, and earbuds before sneaking outside and into Adam's car.

I let out a sigh of relief as the sound of yelling fades away and the radio fills it's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I'll see you all in the next chapter! Buh-bye! 
> 
> —Max


	3. Chapter 3

"But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby."  
__________________________

Third POV

Jack stared out the window as Adam continued to drive them back home, the faint sound of Panic! At the Disco blaring through his earbuds. He hadn't really started listening to them until now but holy shit, why didn't he listen to their music sooner? To be quite honest, he couldn't even pick a favorite song.. Best damn songs ever.

Yet he couldn't help but think of Mark when he listened to the lyrics of every damn song he listened to; the music couldn't even drown out his thoughts right now. He couldn't help but to think of Mark as more than just a best friend. And maybe he was terrified of that thought hence the reason the sudden realization made him stop putting the song on repeat everywhere he went until it got old and he could no longer get the tune and lyrics out of his head; putting his iPod up for the night.

Sean sighed in relief as he made it back upstairs without his parents noticing him. He didn't even change out of his clothes before he got inti bed and went straight for his laptop. Then bright green hair flipped in his face, causing the younger irishman to sigh in annoyance and push it out of his eyes before continuing to log into Skype to see if Mark had said anything to him while he was gone.

Nothing new, just old, probably forgotten by Mark, goofy messages they sent before he stopped talking to him after the Skype call.

Jack: "Hey, Mark. I'm sorry for dumping all that on you the other night. I understand if you hate me or whatever now, I seem to lose almost everyone I tell that to. Sorry, I'm rambling again. But, yeah. I'm really sorry, I just thought it would be best for you to know. Apparently it wasn't..." He typed out before sending it to Mark, not caring if he didn't respond, as long as he'd see it.

He waited. Waited for Mark to get online onto Skype, to see his message, to talk to him, say everything on his mind no matter how hurtful- anything! So long as he said something.

But he didn't do any of those things. Instead he said nothing and that's when Jack decided that the silence was worse then getting yelled at by the ones you love and care about. The quiet is always so much louder; so violent and gives him such a migraine when he thinks about it too much and doesn't hear anything in its wake. And that's what's happening now isn't it? He's just waiting for him to respond. He doesn't care if he hates him or discriminates him, he just wants him to say something. But he knows that in the end, he'll get nothing in return.

'Please, Mark. Please don't leave me.' The younger pleads silently to himself as he lays down, still facing the laptop and waiting for Mark to get online. But he doesn't. Not even after half an hour of waiting,

What's the point of waiting for someone to support you that obviously won't? What's the point of loving and caring for someone that doesn't reciprocate those feelings?

Other than Mark and a few other Internet friends, such as Wade, Bob, Felix, and Marzia, Matt is the only one left close enough to call family that he hasn't told yet. Everyone but Matt knows now. But Mark and Matt are his best friends, they're all he has and he feels like a part of him is missing now that Mark's ignoring him after coming out to him. Now he doesn't know if he should tell Matt or not but decides it's better telling him himself than hearing it from Mark or somebody else.

He doesn't think there's another worse feeling than being left cold on your ass by someone when you need them the most.

Just as Sean starts to fall asleep, the faint words at the top of the screen barely catch his line of sight. But it's too late, because he's already out like a light and passed out.

'Mark is typing...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short, I know, but I didn't exactly know how to begin or end this chapter so just see this as a filler chapter for the sake of having something to read instead of waiting forever for an update.
> 
> And, as always, thank you for reading and I'll see you all in the next chapter!!
> 
> —Max


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try and edit this shitty formatting correctly tomorrow or whenever I have an actual computer. Until then, sorry!

"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives."   
________________________

Jack's POV

I woke up to another loud 'ping!' on my phone, shrilling in my ear; signifying I had a new message from skype.

I groaned, groggily rubbing my face and the sleep out of my eyes before checking the time.

'4:28 AM- dammit, really? Who woke me up at four in the morning just to text me? Better be pretty damn important.'

I swiped my phone off the pillow, eyes widening when I saw how many messages I had from Skype over the past few hours. Even worse? Half of them are from Mark. The rest are from mine and Mark's other Internet friends (a.k.a. Daithi, Felix, Bob, Matt, and Wade).

As I scrolled through the relentless messages from Mark, I felt myself start to tear up.

Skype Messages:

"Mark: I'm so sorry for hanging up on you. Dad walked in and you know he hates me talking to other people on the Internet; he flipped his shit as is.

Mark: Hey, bud, please answer me? I'm not mad, I swear, you think I'd hate you or something? Because if that's what you think, I'd be happy to assure you that I could never hate you. 

Mark: C'mon, do you hate me or something? Did I do something wrong?

Mark: Sorry for all the messages, I'm just really worried about you is all."

Were some of the messages. And then there was another one that just sent after I read those ones. And this one- this one makes tears spring to your eyes.

"Mark: I don't care what your gender or sexuality is, you're still my best friend and I would never drop you for that. You've always been there for me as best you can through long distance and I want to be there for you too. I'm sorry if I've ever made you uncomfortable or hurt you, but I'm willing to make it up to you in any way I can if you'd let me. I'm sorry. xx"

Without a second thought, I hurriedly started typing away with Mark, not knowing that on the other end, the American smiled for the first time in days when he saw the words at the very top of his screen;

"Jack is typing..."  
__________________________

I hate the way my parents have been looking down on me all the time, ever since I came out to them a few weeks ago after I did with Mark.

I hate the way they've been speaking to me and treating me after I told them my deepest secret; one I held the closest to my heart and hoped they would too.

But most of all, I hate what they're saying and doing right now.

"Me and your father have decided that we can no longer support you. We believe that you have made your choice in life and this is how it's going to be. You have a week to pack all of your things and move out."

'Oh my god, please, no.'

I feel like they've just ripped out my heart and stomped on it; tears starting to form.

"We don't care where you go, but you can no longer live here seeing as you don't want to be our beautiful daughter that we raised and cared for any longer," Mom says in an unfazed tone. 

'This can't be happening right now.'

But it did happen. It's been three days since then.

I stare down at the scissors in my hand, shaking slightly in anticipation at what I'm about to do after wanting to for so long. But I can't act so horribly on the situation. I can't do this again, I won't go through it again no matter how tempting the urge is. I put the scissors down and roll my sleeves back down with a heavy sigh.

I look over to my bag, making sure I have the necessities I would need if my parents ever decided to kick me out right on the spot.

I take off my clothes to take a quick shower while my parents are out and not able to cut me off from at least personal hygiene; that was part of the package of not supporting me any longer. 

After I step out, a towel wrapped around my chest and brushing my teeth then brushing out my hair, I finish getting dressed up. I take a small about of hair gel to spike up the grayish-silver and green hair and then put on my binder, neon green hoodie, black jeans, and a beanie.

And as I look into the mirror again, I actually feel like myself for once like this.

Mom and dad aren't happy when they see me like this, dad nearly seething in rage and exiting the living room before he screams at me when no one is home next door to hear.

Mom, on the other hand, does something I expected her to do earlier when I had told her my secret to begin with.

She slaps me across the face.

Hard.

"You aren't a boy! Stop trying to act like one and start being lady like. I raised a daughter, not a son!" She screams. 

My hand automatically clutches my left cheek that stings and is probably red from her strike.

"I am a boy and you will never change that!"

I resist the urge to cry in front of her and instead, run to my room, slamming the door shut and getting onto my bed, hugging my pillow tightly to my chest as I text Mark to calm me down; trying to ignore the yelling downstairs between my parents again.

Adam can't do anything to help me anymore. He'd tried once the other day and had to go with a friend after a while due to dad.

By now, it's been a week. My time is up, and I have by noon to leave. I have no one or no where to go to.

I'm walking down the street, bag slung over my shoulder when my phone buzzes in my back pocket and check the screen which reads:

One new message.

And immediately slide it open.

Markimoo: Hey, how's my favorite boy doing? x

I cringe at the overrun of thoughts of what I could tell him. 'Should I tell him?'

Jack: Nothing much. Just really out of it right now. You? x

Markimoo: Just got done with my geometry II assignments actually. Are you okay? xx

Fucking hell. No, I'm not okay. But does Mark know that?

Jack: No.

Well, he does now.

Markimoo: Wanna tell me about it? Or is that too much to ask? x

I want to tell him so bad. Tell him everything but I'm afraid of loosing the last person I have close enough to call family. The last person I love that I know is still by my side.

Jack: Um, my parents kicked me out and I have no where to go as of now. But that's all I can tell you tbh.

It's been twenty minutes since my last message.

Mark still hasn't replied.

Jack: Mark? You still there?

I still don't get a response and my mind starts to wonder if I have enough money to stay a night at a hotel until I can find somewhere else.

Well, if I can find anywhere else.

Markimoo: Hey, sorry I didn't answer sooner! I'm really busy but for a very good reason. You'll understand why soon. I'll be back in a bit, Jackaboy! xx

The hell is that supposed to mean?

I check my wallet for money, seeing that I don't have much left except for one nights worth of food and maybe a night or two to stay at an inn left.

I am so fucked right now.  
__________________________

I don't know what to do anymore; I'm so alone.

I have no one and nothing except for the personal and needed items in my bag and the clothes on my back.

I'm also out of money now. No where to sleep and nothing to eat.

You've really dug yourself into a hole this time, Jack.

Mark stopped texting me after his last text, leaving me to wonder why the hell he's left me too along with everyone else.

"Sorry," I quickly apologize when I bump into someone on the streets.

"Jack? Is that you?"

Great, ran into someone and I feel like even more of an asshole- wait. Only Adam and Mark call me by my name.

I make the regretful decision to look up, eyes tearing up as I peer into their chocolate brown eyes, now gazing into my bright blue ones.

Why is he here? How the ever loving fuck did he even get here?

I can't believe it, oh my god, why does the first time we have to see each other for the first time in real life be like this? Oh, god, he's going to hate me.

"M-Mark? How the hell did yeh get here?" I stutter, hand flying up to cover my mouth.

Beside Mark is my older brother Adam, who I assume was going to take him to my parents' house and yeah, that wouldn't have went well. 

"Hey, that isn't a way to greet me for the first time!" He teases, chuckling when I roll my eyes through the tears and throw myself at him in a tight, bear hug. "That's better," He says as he hugs me back just as tight.

"Now," Adam starts once I've released my grip on Mark, "Let's get you cleaned up and something to eat before anything else. Then I'm goin' ta set ma and dad straight."

"Adam- don't, please, for the love o' fuck. Dad was pissed enough at you, please don't get yourself hurt..." It's tear me up if the last person related to me was either a) turned against me or b) not able to see me ever again. 

"No 'but'-ing me," He says in a mock faux tone before breaking out in a grin again. "Sorry, can't stay serious for too long. But really, let's get going. Also, watch your damn language young man. As your brother, I'm obligated to be a role model and your cursing does the complete opposite."

"What a role model you are," I retort, a smile tinging at my lips at the laughter from Adam and Mark. 

I can only hope things don't go too downhill from here.  
__________________________

Third POV

In the short period of time Jack had been around his brother and Mark, he had found out that 1) Mark spent the money he had been saving up to meet a few of his fans at a convention/meet to fly over to see Jack, 2) Adam had known and been helping him all along, and 3) Adam wanted his little brother to go with Mark for a while. That's what all three of them are talking about as of now.

"Adam- I can't, you know I can't. I'd love to stay with Mark an' all but I can't just leave Ireland and go ta America because of what ma and dad did. Do you know how much trouble I could get into?" The youngest of the three tried to rationalize. Hell, wouldn't you be scared to make such a big move at such a young age? Especially during a devastating time like this?

"Jack," Mark spoke up, hand coming Dow to rest on his shoulder. "I know it sounds ridiculous but your parents kicked you out, you have no where to go and right now, I'm pretty sure it's best if you stay with me until either your brother gets his own place, you turn eighteen and get your own place, or your parents accept you..."

Jack hated to admit to himself that he was right.

Living temporarily with Mark wasn't an idea he particularly repulsed, he just didn't know how to feel about it exactly; didn't know how to process it all. 'Is this still really happening?'

"If you choose to go with me, our flight won't leave until tomorrow evening. You can still have time to think about it if you need."

All Jack can do as nod as he's lost in his train of thought once more and the faint sounds of Mark and Adam talking fading away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for any errors, tell me if there are any that stand out greatly or there are so many that I need to reread this part again to fix them. 
> 
> Well, see all you in the next chapter! And, as always, thanks for reading! xx
> 
> —Max


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seens rushed and I apologize. 
> 
> TW for a little homophobia.

Jack's POV

You'd think that given the choices of staying here in Ireland with a friend until me or my brother found our own place or go live with my best friend in America, left all my old friends, family and basically start a new life altogether would keep me up all night. But when you haven't slept for two days straight, thought's always running and preventing sleep whatsoever, you learn that just maybe sleep is a little more important. It isn't on this case, but I really didn't care. I was tired as fuck, okay? I was going to sleep whether someone liked it or not.

Apparently Mark shared the bed with me while Adam went wherever, leaving a note behind before he left.

Mark wasn't exactly of age in America to be transporting himself half way across the world and back again, so how the hell did he get through security? Well, I guess Mark's parents helped him get on the airplane here, and Mark is seventeen so he's of legal age here in Ireland. Eh, as long as we don't get arrested, I honestly couldn't care less if we were of legal age or not. I just wanted out of this hell hole before my parents found me and decided to put a beating down on me for all this shit.

As of now, Mark and I were in the back seat of Adam's car, empty bags and other luggage necessities to gather everything I would need into them. This, of course, wasn't as simple as it sounded. 

When ma and dad had kicked me out a few days ago, I only packed the things I could carry in my school bag: a few changes of clothes, wallet, phone, charger, and that's basically all. 

But I was moving now, and I couldn't possibly live in a place without my laptop, chargers, headphones, etc. I'm a teenager, and an internet addicted one at that, what the hell did you expect from me?

The car came to a halt, a few blocks before my parents' house so they couldn't just look out the window and see us.

"Want me to come with you?" Mark asks, grabbing one of the bags as I do too.

"I don't want ya to run into my parents. If they caught us, we'd both be dead and no doubt they'd call the cops on us..." 

"We'll be fine. Just be quiet, stay down low, get what we need and get back out. Simple, right?"

"God, I hope so..."

With that, we both get out of the car and sneak in through my old bedroom window to retrieve the rest of my stuff.  
__________________________

Me and Mark ran out the front door, adrenaline pumping through my veins as my father chased us out, yelling bloody murder at us until we threw my bags inside the car, jumped in and Adam sped away from the furious and red-faced man.

"Woo! How about that! What a rush, oh my god!" Mark laughed whole-heartedly, a tinge of nervousness lacing in with his deep laugh. 

"What a rush? He could've pulverized us, Mark! The hell's wrong with ya?!" I scolded him, but couldn't help but laugh myself. He was right, I've never been so exhilarated in my life. And being scared shitless with your best friend only made it boss as fuck. 

As Adam dropped the both of us off at the airport, Mark helped me gather our bags, about to go ahead and into the building to wait for our flight to be called when I was pulled into a hug by my brother.

"Take care lil man, call me when you get there, understand? 'M sorry this had to happen to ya. But it'll get better, alright? I'll miss you."

"Okay, okay. Yer startin' ta sound like ma," I joke, hugging him back nonetheless. "I'll miss ya too."

With a smile, Mark motions for me to follow him so we don't miss our flight call.

I don't understand it when my brother winks at Mark, but decide that it's probably better left unsaid and continue walking alongside him.

~~~

I stand up when I hear that it's time for me, Mark, and the rest of the passengers to board, grabbing my bags and passport and following after Mark seeing as I've actually never traveled through air. Shut up, I never had a reason to and I'm deathly terrified of heights, I'm surprised I've gotten this far to the damn excuse for a death contraption. 

"You alright there, Jackaboy? You're shaking," Mark points out at my trembling shoulders.

"Y-yeah , 'm fine, just a little nervous I guess," I stutter out, eyes refusing to meet the dark haired mans eyes in favor of staring at the ground. It's not just the nervousness of this all happening so fast, but more so my fear of heights, but I have to do this.

Without another word or any verbal signs of protest, we board the plane.

~~~

Mark's POV

I smiled sheepishly as Jack laid her- his, I correct myself (I don't slip up often, but usually correct myself when I do)- head on my shoulder. 

We're only an hour into the flight and he's passed out, headphones still blaring music as he sleeps.

Carefully, without moving the shoulder he's laying on much, I reached my other arm over and pulled his headphones off, holding onto them for the time being until he wakes up; waking up to music blaring in your ears isn't the most pleasant wake up call.

Sighing, I close my eyes and rest my head back on the headrest and try to falls asleep as well. It's only the second time I've been on a flight this long, and I know it's quite a distance (it's a 10 and half fucking hour flight, can you believe this shit?) Might as well pass a little of the time somehow.

I was nearly dragged into unconsciousness until a man in our line of view starts to make a fuss. I'm not really concerned about it until I catch on to what he's saying.

"Fuckin' fags over there, look at 'em," I hear the man say not so quietly to a woman beside him. "Should be killed for bein' that way, we could all do better off without 'em anyways," He grumbles angrily. The last part sends a wave of unease through me. Would they literally go to the extents of killing people?

My head perks up as a look at the man who's staring at both me and Jack who's still laying on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm talking 'bout you, fag. You and your little boyfriend should've been killed as soon as your parents found out- OW! WHAT THE FUCK, LADY?!" The man is cut off as an older woman 'innocently' walks by and hits him hard in the back of his head with her purse, and, let's face it, old lady's carry like a fuck ton of bricks in those things, I shit you not.

"Oops, my bad," She says before turning around and obviously purposefully hitting him again, only in the ace this time, before she goes back to her seat beside me and Jack on the opposite row.

I hear the man murmur something before getting on his phone to hide his embarrassment as a few people applaud the woman.

"He won't be bothering you two anymore, dear. I still don't understand how people can still be so closed minded and bigoted. Especially to sweet couples like you two," She gestures to me and the irish boy clinging to my arm as he sleeps; almost holding my hand.

"Oh, it's not like that, ma'am, really, we're not-" I start to blabber on but sigh heavily and cut myself off as I see I'm getting nowhere with this. "I like him but no, we aren't- we aren't dating, I don't think he exactly likes me that way, I-"

She laughs, and leans over to pat me on the leg.

"I understand, hon, no need to explain," She says, leaning back and glaring at the man who had earlier been running his mouth- whom was stealing glances back at her and is now looking forwards again in shame that he'd been caught. "I hope it works out for you then," She smiles. "It did with me and my wife. I thought she'd never like me, then again, I thought she was straight. But, here we are thirty two years later, married, two kids, and soon we'll have grandkids."

I smile at her.

"I'm glad things worked out for you and your wife. I can only imagine the things you two have gone through over the years."

"Well, we've actually only gotten married last year," She begins, something akin to upset on her face. "Because of all those laws against marriage, we were engaged for twenty one years. Though, I guess we we're pretty sure we were both committed to getting married if we stayed that way for so ling," She laughed, eyes lighting up from talking about it, making me join in laughing with her.

~~~

Third POV 

Mark and the lady carry on with random conversations throughout the rest of the flight, occasionally stopping to nap but continuing it as both of them are awake again. They do that until the flight ends and the plane finally lands; people being woken up by others and collectively gathering their luggage before beginning to walk off the plane and into the airport.

"Jack," Mark shakes the, surprisingly still sleeping, boy; startling him awake with a jump.

"We there yet?" He slurs out tiredly, rubbing the bleariness out of his eyes and gazing up at the older teen.

"Yeah, we're here, I've got our bags, don't worry about it," Mark reassures and laughs when Jack tuts and tries to help to which Mark holds what two small bags above his head, keeping it from his reach.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Mark gives in and hands Jack his bag before they board off the plane after the last few people do.

Both boys breathe a sigh of relief when they step outside, breathing in the fresh air and walking over to Mark's car to shove their bags in and get in.

"So, my parents won't be home, and they don't exactly know about the parent situations. So, if they ask, your parents were in a bad situation and couldn't support their kid at the moment so I drove you over here- oh! Yeah, um, they also think you're from around here. Just say I stayed a few nights a your place." Mark says in a slight panic, trying to get their stories straight just in case the american's parents ask any questions.

"I uh, Mark?" Jack speaks up, tearing his gaze away from the window.

"Yeah?"

"I- well, I don't exactly pass as a dude, y'know? My voice is high pitched, you can just barely see the a bump in my chest and- I just don't exactly have the most masculine lookin' figures in general if you couldn't fuckin' tell!" My voice raised slightly in upset and realization at the fact I didn't exactly 'pass'. 

Yet Mark, instead of agreeing with me, frowns and rests a hand on my shoulder.

"That isn't true. Jack, listen to me. You are the bravest guy I know. You've been through so much and you still are but you're pushing through it and that makes you the best man I've ever known. As for looks, well, please don't be weirded out when I say you're the hottest guy I've ever seen by far," Mark says with a smirk, glancing at me as we pull to a stop sign. 

"You don't mean that, you're just saying that-"

"No, I'm not. Have I ever lied or lead you to believe wrong in the past couple years we've known each other?"

I don't answer, and he knows why; because he's right. He's never lead me wrong in the entirety of us knowing each other.

"Right. So why would I now?" He points out, eyes focusing on the rode once more as the road clears from any other vehicles or passerby's. "My parents will honest to everything see you as a boy, Jack. And not only that but they're very supportive okay?" He pauses for a moment. "Well, my mom is anyways. My dad? Eh, not so much but he's trying."

I nod my head in acknowledgement to what he's saying, but speak up when I realize he can't look at me because he's driving.

"Yeah, okay, thanks, Mark... Really."

The rest of the ride to Mark's house is spent in a comfortable silence, the quiet sound of the radio in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments and, as always, thank you for reading. Buh-bye! xx
> 
> —Max


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda just a filler chapter??

"...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit."

~~~

Jack's POV

The drive to Mark's house wasn't too long, for that, I didn't know if I was thankful or not. 

I felt nervousness bubble up inside of my being, taking control of my thoughts and fear staring to rise along; I was just sorta scared and I didn't know why. Mark said his parents are supportive of these kinds of things. Well, his dad not so much but he was trying and the worst he'll doing is make the occasionally harmless joke or accidentally saying a slang term but he corrected himself. I just had the feeling that they'd act out like my parents did to me. 

Yet, I was proven wrong over getting to meet them and having dinner quickly with their family before heading off to bed because of the timezone differences and jet lag (which really was a bitch and had mad the sleepless boys more tired then they've ever been).

Jack shook the man and woman's hands- whom he'd later found out their names were Katy and John, which was a lot easier than referring to them as Mr. and Mrs. Fischbach. He got warm smiles from the both of them and smiled back before Mark said his goodnights and grabbed his hand to drag him off to the guest bedroom.

"So, how was meeting my family so far? Not too bad like you thought, huh?" Mark teased the younger who just rolled his eyes in faux annoyance at him. "Seriously though, were they alright?"

"Yeah, they were, shouldn't have doubted ya, Markimoo," He laughed under his breath before bringing his attention back to the room they were in, dropping his bag full of stuff onto the floor by the door. "So, I'll be sleeping here then?"

"Yup! I'm trying to remember where..." the American trailed off as he began rummaging through drawers and finally the closet. "Ha, found them!" He said triumphantly, stepping back out of the closet with his arms full of blankets and a few pillows, walking over and setting them on the foot of the bed before looking back at Jack. "The bathroom is just down the hall and the first door to your right and I think you know where everything else is..." He says in thought, probably making sure I don't get lost or something.

"If you need anything, text me or just knock on my door, my rooms just across from yours. I'd usually just let you come to my room for the night to watch movies and play games until we fell asleep or whatever but we won't sleep anytime soon if we did that so," He pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry this all had to happen with you and your family and all. But, I'm glad I finally get to actually meet you. I'll see you in the morning, nerd. Night." He says, releasing me and ruffling my brightly colored hair and giving me time to repeat his last words before he goes into his own room and shuts the door.

Sighing quietly, I shut the room to the guest bedroom and glance over it entirely. There isn't much in here, just the essentials to a guest bedroom really: a bed, nightstand, lamp, drawers for clothes, a small trash bin, etc. 

Quietly, I start to grab the blankets and pillows Mark set out for me and start making the bed to my liking before grabbing my duffle bag full of things my older brother, Adam, and Mark helped me get out of my parents' house even after they specifically told me I was no longer welcome there. I pulled out a pair of night clothes and changed into them and then my laptop and phone with their chargers, plugging them in to an outlet near the head of the bed before I turned out the room's lights and settled under the covers.

Yet, I couldn't seem to go to sleep no matter how hard I tried. And I was tired as dicks, I don't understand why I didn't just pass out right then and there. But then my thoughts were racing.

'This isn't home, this is practically a stranger's house!'

'You're a disgrace to your own family; you don't even have a family anymore!'

'You won't make it past 18 years old alive; you're still gonna end up on the streets...'

And thoughts like that never did anyone good, especially at night when you were all on your own and had no one to really talk to about it or to comfort you. Well, technically, I had Mark. But why would Mark want to deal with my problems? They're stupid and pointless, there's nothing he can do to make it any better. Besides, even if he could make them go away for the time being, they'd most likely most likely just come back full blast the next night.

'But he's your best friend! That's what they're there for!' a rational part of his mind tells him, though he just worries his bottom lip between his teeth and tries to go to sleep once more.

~~~

Third POV

 

Jack wakes up with a startled cry, cutting himself off by slapping a hand over his own mouth, eyes wide and beginning to brim with tears as he recalls the nightmare he just woke up from; flashes of it flittering behind closed eyelids.

He muffles the, no doubt, broken sounding sobs coming from himself, feeling the hot tears pour down his cheeks and onto the blankets below. He doesn't even realize Mark's in the room until he's sitting beside him on the bed, a hand on his shoulder, and quietly trying to ask the irishman what's wrong. 

Eventually though, he just ends up pulling Jack into a hug, which makes him realize now that he's trembling from head to toe with upset from his dream.

"Hey. Hey, Jack, it's gonna be alright, it was a dream; you're safe, you're right here with me," Mark tries to comfort the distraught teen, now having him halfway pulled into his lap from how he's holding him. "Look at me, I'm right here, no one's gonna hurt you," his deep voice breaks through the thoughts that are screaming in Jack's head.

Slowly, Jack comes to himself, relaxing against his best friend and sniffling quietly, his arms draped loosely around his neck while Mark's arms are wrapped around his waist; holding each other close.

"'M sorry, Mark. Didn't mean to wake  
ya up or anythin'. 'S just a nightmare is all," Jacks voice comes out softly, his accent more pronounced from how tired he his.

"Do you wanna talk about what it was about?"

"Mm... not right now. Maybe another time," Jack sighs out, breath fanning out against Mark's neck as he starts to fall asleep in his arms.

"That's alright. want me to stay with you for the night?" He asks softly, one arm that isn't wrapped around him coming up to rub soothing circles into his back.

Jack wordlessly nods his approval, laying down under the covers and subconsciously curling up to his best friend as he falls asleep a little more peacefully this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any errors, as always, i'm on mobile

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry or any errors, misunderstandings, typos, etc. I am only able to write on mobile so even though I look through to edit any errors out, I still manage to pass some up.
> 
> I'd also like to add that not everyone (hardly anyone) are as supportive as Mark does in this story. For example, I came out to one of my best friends as transgender ftm that I thought I could trust and let's just say that everything that could've gone wrong did (she tried outing me to my parents and bullied me). And some of my friends were very supportive yet it did take them a while to get used to the fact and start using my pronouns and preferred name. So, be careful, I don't wish to mislead any of you that may identify as trans or under the trans umbrella (gender fluid, nonbinary, etc.) And think that coming out is a good idea. Unless you are 100% sure they won't act negatively or severely, please be safe.
> 
> Thank you and I'll see you all in the next chapter! xx


End file.
